OMG!!! They changed the Start time Of THE POWER TOOL DRAG RACES. It's a good thing REDNECKS get up EARLY and stuff.....
Okay Racers, it's that time again.
Congratulations on having the good taste to once more subject
yourselves to personal injury, potential humilation, public intoxication and severe
sunburn.
Oh yeah and the drive to succeed and be the best racer you can be all
that yadda yadda.
You are receiving this because YOU are one of the LUCKY FEW who will be
racing at the Power Tool Drag Races This Sunday, May 7th. Yes, it really is
this sunday, yes, this sunday is the 7th, I'll give you a minute to check
your calendars. . .
Okay, we good? Excellent.
Here are a few thing you need to know (pay attention, our options have
changed):
BECAUSE we have gotten such a stunning turnout for the races this year,
and BECAUSE due to extreme laziness on the part of the organizers we're
only having one day of racing, We would ask ALL BUILDERS to be ON SITE at
9:30am
Yes my friends you read me right, racers muct be AT THE JUNKYARD AT
9:30am.
If you don't have at least a representative group of your team there
with the machines, you will definitely make the baby Jesus cry, and worse, send
Bill the Junkman into an awful sulk.
This is so we can at least make a feeble attempt to get through all the
races. It'll be close and we'll probably end in the dark, but wonder of
wonders, we'll have light for a change, plus someone somewhere will probably find something to burn.
Ideally, we will begin racing a little after ten am, so we'll be
underway by the time we have an audience at noonish, maybe earlier. YES, the track will be set
up and good to go. Thanks Charlie and his crew for that, yay Charlie.
"But Gal Friday!" you say "How'm I supposed to get in from Sacramento
in time for 9am?" Well my frends, we can certainly make arrangement sof some
kind. I have couches. Let us know if it's a huge issue and we can work
something out so's you get there with time to spare, Glory Hallelujah.
Nom there will be no formal TV there this year. We are lean, mean, punk
rock and Sponsored by Delicious Delicious Lagunitas Beer so make sure to
intoxicate yourself well before operating your machinery.
Our Race Offical this year is once more Dave "Judge Dave" Calkins, who
will also be on the big PA telling you when to get your collective kiesters to
the starting line/staging area (did I mention we will in all likelihood
have a formal staging area? Thank Don for that. Yay Don.). He will be also
running the ladders and maintaining the all-important illusion of
professionalism. He can be bought with Pepperidge Farm and offers of massage.
John Hell and Hal Robins round out our announcing roster this year,
with a few potential alternates to sub in. If you know any hardcore gearheads of the female persuasion who can rock the mike, send 'em our way.
We will have pit tables and more electricity than you can shake a
capacitor at.
We will have pit bosses to show you where to go with what.
If you know someone who is fully planning on competing and they are not
on this list, TELL THEM TO REGISTER. Seriously, this is your main source of
information, the email you supply through the registration page. Send
'em to the website (www.buildersdb.com), it takes five minutes and will
result in Simone failing to have her traditional moments of despair under the
counter in the junkyard office. This means less yelling for *YOU!*. We love
that when that happens.
So, direct any questions you nearly invariably have to me, Simone, and
I will send em along to the right person. Should you wish to do some
preemptive abuse of the judges, please contact Dave. Should you wish to whine about the earliness of the hour, please contact Charlie. All abuse can be
directed to me, where I shall keep a careful note of your needs and then
immediately forget to bring that particular clipboard on the day.
Thanks a ton, remind me of all the things I forgot. See you at the
races!
Simone
--
Bringing you quality product in the face of crushing indifference.
Okay Racers, it's that time again.
Congratulations on having the good taste to once more subject
yourselves to personal injury, potential humilation, public intoxication and severe
sunburn.
Oh yeah and the drive to succeed and be the best racer you can be all
that yadda yadda.
You are receiving this because YOU are one of the LUCKY FEW who will be
racing at the Power Tool Drag Races This Sunday, May 7th. Yes, it really is
this sunday, yes, this sunday is the 7th, I'll give you a minute to check
your calendars. . .
Okay, we good? Excellent.
Here are a few thing you need to know (pay attention, our options have
changed):
BECAUSE we have gotten such a stunning turnout for the races this year,
and BECAUSE due to extreme laziness on the part of the organizers we're
only having one day of racing, We would ask ALL BUILDERS to be ON SITE at
9:30am
Yes my friends you read me right, racers muct be AT THE JUNKYARD AT
9:30am.
If you don't have at least a representative group of your team there
with the machines, you will definitely make the baby Jesus cry, and worse, send
Bill the Junkman into an awful sulk.
This is so we can at least make a feeble attempt to get through all the
races. It'll be close and we'll probably end in the dark, but wonder of
wonders, we'll have light for a change, plus someone somewhere will probably find something to burn.
Ideally, we will begin racing a little after ten am, so we'll be
underway by the time we have an audience at noonish, maybe earlier. YES, the track will be set
up and good to go. Thanks Charlie and his crew for that, yay Charlie.
"But Gal Friday!" you say "How'm I supposed to get in from Sacramento
in time for 9am?" Well my frends, we can certainly make arrangement sof some
kind. I have couches. Let us know if it's a huge issue and we can work
something out so's you get there with time to spare, Glory Hallelujah.
Nom there will be no formal TV there this year. We are lean, mean, punk
rock and Sponsored by Delicious Delicious Lagunitas Beer so make sure to
intoxicate yourself well before operating your machinery.
Our Race Offical this year is once more Dave "Judge Dave" Calkins, who
will also be on the big PA telling you when to get your collective kiesters to
the starting line/staging area (did I mention we will in all likelihood
have a formal staging area? Thank Don for that. Yay Don.). He will be also
running the ladders and maintaining the all-important illusion of
professionalism. He can be bought with Pepperidge Farm and offers of massage.
John Hell and Hal Robins round out our announcing roster this year,
with a few potential alternates to sub in. If you know any hardcore gearheads of the female persuasion who can rock the mike, send 'em our way.
We will have pit tables and more electricity than you can shake a
capacitor at.
We will have pit bosses to show you where to go with what.
If you know someone who is fully planning on competing and they are not
on this list, TELL THEM TO REGISTER. Seriously, this is your main source of
information, the email you supply through the registration page. Send
'em to the website (www.buildersdb.com), it takes five minutes and will
result in Simone failing to have her traditional moments of despair under the
counter in the junkyard office. This means less yelling for *YOU!*. We love
that when that happens.
So, direct any questions you nearly invariably have to me, Simone, and
I will send em along to the right person. Should you wish to do some
preemptive abuse of the judges, please contact Dave. Should you wish to whine about the earliness of the hour, please contact Charlie. All abuse can be
directed to me, where I shall keep a careful note of your needs and then
immediately forget to bring that particular clipboard on the day.
Thanks a ton, remind me of all the things I forgot. See you at the
races!
Simone
--
Bringing you quality product in the face of crushing indifference.
